Mexican Domestic Goddess

A Lesson in Flexibility

Jacqui Skemp4 Comments
It's been a year since I made the decision to stop breastfeeding. The subject has been on my mind since my beloved baby wearing groups on Facebook and Instagram have been sharing photos of breastfeeding mothers all day, every day. I said most of what I had to say on the subject in this post I wrote in January "Giving the Gift of a Happy Momma".

After writing that post I still struggled with the guilt of not being able to breastfeed for a while. I'm generally over it now. There were a few occasions where we had to deal with formula being over heated and we had a screaming baby on our hands. Not fun. I wish I could have just nursed him and offered that comfort. Those moments were frustrating.

I am often the only woman in my mom circles that is not breastfeeding. There were times where I snuck away to mix the formula because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of people. That was stupid. I should not have felt that way. I was feeding my baby, and he was happy about that.

I still think breast is best in the same way I think natural child birth is best. An unmedicated (and uncomplicated) labor is the ideal.  I don't think women should be afraid of it, and I think it's great when women want to go that route and successfully do. But I would never, ever, ever, ever think a woman was less of a mother or did something horribly wrong to her child or her relationship with her child because she either could not labor naturally or (gasp) chose not to.

I gave birth to my son without any medications because I could. While I hope I can have unmedicated labors with future children, I don't know if that will be the case, and that's okay.

I breastfed part-time for two months, and formula fed full time after that. I will be better prepared to try and breastfeed future children, if I am blessed with them. But if I can't, that's okay.

We started out sharing our bed with our baby, then didn't for 5 months, and now, well…we share our bed with our son some nights and other nights we don't. So depending on your definition of co-sleeping we do or we don't.

I don't baby wear because I think it will make my baby better than yours. I do it because it makes life easier, and he likes it. I might have a baby in the future who hates to be in carriers, and that's okay.

If there's one thing I learned from not being able to breastfeed (besides the plethora of supply inducing supplements) it's that I cannot and should not judge others parenting choices. I'm not saying anything goes, because we can all probably agree that there are certain things that are wrong when it comes to parenting. But there is a lot of wiggle room. What works for one family might not work for another. I'm only one baby into this game, and hopefully there will be more, but I know this: parenting is the practice of flexibility.

This is an accurate portrayal of us as parents looking at our offspring